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Whatever does not kill me,
makes me sleepy
- Me
Never get angry. Never make a threat. Reason with people.
- Mario Puzo, 'TheGodfather'
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Now some people know that I am
pretty straightforward about things If I am asked for my opinion, some people
are yet to find that out. Some people avoid asking important questions just
because
of that, they know what they will get, they will get the truth, and not
everyone can handle it. Now I dedicate this space to my ranting, stuff some
people should have found out for themselves or just stuff that I feel like
offloading on your poor heads today, either way, this is what I think. |
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Something I wanted to rant about for a long
time, but had a rather limited audience for, is betrayal by (alleged)
friends. Now we all know who it was, the one and only Cory. What, someone
didn't think I would put the name on? Come on, like I said, I say what I
think. It's possible that I am a bit biased in spitting all this out, and to
that I say, I sure hope for your sake I am, 'cause if I had one evil thing
to do to another person, I would make all their friends betray them. Man,
have I got something to tell you people. That shit hurts. Yes, I can be a
cold-hearted bastard at times, but here I am saying it, this shit hurts. Now
there are so many reasons it does, I cannot even say which one is the main
reason. May be it is the disappointment with the other person, that they
could be so low as to think of you as a poker-hand card which had to be
discarded, since they were playing a new game and your suit did not fit
anymore. May be it's disappointment with myself, that after being too
careful with too many worthy people, I trusted someone so low on a scale of
human development that cannot even bring himself to look me in the eyes or
say a word and just admit he was wrong.
Of course... may be it's the common friends standing back and looking at
the whole thing unravel like a soap opera and just tuning in sometimes to
check for any new developments. Yeh, that one made me bitter more than
anything... made me rethink my friendships.... until one day I figured out
that we had no common friends. Now some people are going to take it the
wrong way, some people are going to think, "what, is he saying I am not his
friend?" There is an explanation, a good one, but I am not giving it
to them, they will have to figure it out for themselves. If they don't......
too bad, I can be a cold hearted bitch, welcome to my world, welcome
to reality. |
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Something that people don't often understand about my life
perspective is that I like to push limits. I like to push the limits of
people's thought (if they got any that is), sometimes I even see it fit to
push the limits of the friendships. Some people might not like it, since
they prefer status quo so much. But then as much as I might push the limits
of tolerance other people have for me, I push my own limits ten times as
hard, physically and mentally, I find that I cannot be happy without knowing
the extremes I am capable of. |
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Then there is this whole thing with people
thinking I am "negative" and pessimistic. I said "you gonna die" when you
were playing Quake and you know why I fucking said it? Cause it's a fucking
game and it does not matter if you live or die, not at all, not to the
slightest degree, not even your sperm count or PMS intensity will change.
People take words so seriously when it comes to little irrelevant things,
but then they forget who was there with them when it was something real,
when it mattered. Sometimes I think people take little things so seriously
because they have no real problems, so they come up with something big just
to keep themselves busy. A person I know once said after watching Pearl
Harbor, "It made me realize what death is." Props to the movie, but if
that's what it takes for someone to realize that they are not immortal and
there is pain and suffering out there, may be there was a slight overdose of
denial and its time to come back to reality. |
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